Some women are selfish, some mock

Some women are selfish, some mock

Some are as cold as damp rock

But you're peerless my dear!!!

Could you see your way clear

to letting me lift up your frock?

As a delicacy there's none finer

As a delicacy there's none finer,

with this particular diner,

For when it comes to the crunch,

my favorite munch,

is your pipsi when we sixty niner.

Although always in awe of your face

although always in awe of your face,

I have found there's a time and a place,

For something astounding,

that gets my heart pounding

your body all wrapped up in lace

Taj Mahal or wild jungle clearings

Taj Mahal or wild jungle clearings

any building thats one of Frank Gearey's

But there's no finer sight

on a saturday night

than you with your knees worn as earings

Ale and gin are my favourite tipples

Ale and gin are my favorite tipples

if asked, put me down for some triples.

But give me choice what to suck?

I will give them no truck

Just give me some ice and your nipples

The throttle I will gun up

The throttle I will gun up,

the car will do a ton up

put your drink to one side

and open 'em wide.

I'm about to start my run up

When deciding what goes underneath

When deciding what goes underneath

here is a personal brief

When purchasing knickers

there is nothing slicker

than ones I can take off with my teeth

There's no need to search Ashkenazi

There's no need to search Ashkenazi.

Or scour the streets of Benghazi

In the world cup of tits,

the winners plaudits

go to Swiss Valley's "Boom boom Nastazi"

The world's got some miserable gits

The world's got some miserable gits,

who wail and are generally in bits.

Coz they're not like me.

On they're birthdays you see,

They don't get to come on your tits

I don't like a girl who's all angles

I don't like a girl who's all angles,

elbows, knees, bones and triangles,

It's your soft gentle curves

that rattle my nerves,

not forgetting your tattybeaujangles

I've attended the lectures and talks

I've attended the lectures and talks,

pondered endlessly out on my walks

And the meaning of life,

IS my beautiful wife,

rubbing baby oil into her norks. xx